Balloon world ;

Tuesday, February 2, 20104:53 PM

Hey :) nobody's been tagging lately so i'll post :)

hahaha, was digging up all my old posts and felt so distant....
I realised i was really innocent back then in 07, primary five.
I did not really make the effort to socialise and make friends then.
I'm really the shy little quiet kid in class, not exactly appealing huh?
Thou sometimes i may seem a little hyped up.
But its only when i'm with my closest friends or
that i just want to conceal my true inner feelings.
People say that i'm too sensitive.
I'm sorry but i have always been this way,
its good in a way yet, its too one of my weaknesses
I guess you have to be really good at reading ppl's thots
to really understand me. And that's not a simple feat.
Maybe that's why i dun really have that many close friends.
I may seem loud and bold sometimes but really,
I'm just a simple girl who just wants to feel loved.
I feel a need to have constant laughter in my life,
and thus i try to infect others with mindset too.
I get emotionally hurt easily, and do not recover fast.
That's another major weakness of mine
Perphaps its because of some bad experiences when young
perphaps....
Let me just share another little secret
i've been keeping to myself for very long.
Whenever u see me laughing my head off, or smiling
it does not always mean that its a geniune smile or laugh
sometimes i just put on a mask, to conceal my hurt.
Just like stunning models put on foundation and concealers
to cover up their blemishes if they have any.
Its always just a mask behind it all.
appearancewise, I honestly do not consider myself pretty
For my skin is really sensitive, thus the pimples
and scars u see on my limbs.

I really yearn for an elder brother or sister
to pour out my woes to each time i feel rotten.
But nope, god has decided to present me with a brother instead
A younger one at that.
So now, I have to act as a protector and shield him
from the faggots that keep picking on him.
Whereas now i really need a stable tower to lean on.
I'm feeling so alone in this world now,
both sides seem to be drifting away.
"The friends u keep for life are usually your secondary schoolmates"
I rmbed that was what Mr kwa told me once
what happens to the prinary school ones then?
fade away with passing time?
No way, it wont happen, at least not to us.
Well, i guess i'll have to brace myself for the worst.
And tears keep falling down my face.
No, stop that. i'll remain strong, i promise.
Its actually not that hard,
i'll just keep trying till i get it right.
Bring it on suckers.

GOSH, SHIT I JUST TOLD SOMEONE TO NOT BE EMO
AND WHAT AM I DOING HERE? -EMOING =.=
crap, i shall stop then.
i simply cant find anything to amuse or cheer me up
thses days, maybe i'll be diagonised with some disorder :O
haha, maybe not. ;P
anyway, like i said, i'll just keep trying baby :)
no more emoness from now okay? OKIE

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